#totally not projecting no siree

[emotsper]

can someone actually confess already!!!!

[queermentaldisaster]

Soap, when he was younger, had a hard time deciding what he wanted for dinner. His ma would cook a bunch of food and Soap just couldn't choose anything. By the time he figured out what he wanted, the food was either cold or all gone, and he felt like a burden asking his ma to make more, so he'd just go hungry.

This continues into his adult life, and when he starts relying more on takeout on leaves, he often can't decide on something until his brain deems it 'too late' and he just goes hungry.

[plank-flankered]

Wesley Crusher has a tic disorder now i dont make the rules sorry-

[cynical-librarian-watches-anime]

I’ve had enough of these motherfucking cults in these motherfucking governments.

[the-devoted-ninja]

”He, ah… He thinks you’re cool. I think he asked Cream about it.”

Shadow, uh… Happy birthday. I heard about it from Charmy and wanted to tell you.

@the-devoted-ninja

"Uh... Thank you. Surprised he even knew about it, it's not like we interact all that much."

[revelboo]

Revel dear may I request more TFA Optimus? 👉👈

Sure!

Broken Hearts Pt 5

TFA Optimus x Reader

• Staring up at his shadowy shape, you wrap your arms around yourself against the chill in the air. Know it’s silly, but you don’t want to go home yet. Don’t want to be left alone after the trauma of the attack, because there’s a nervous breakdown on the horizon. Can feel it building inside you, frantic and wild. “Can I stay here tonight?” Not alone in your apartment where your mind will replay the fear and anxiety over and over. Where there’s no distractions from it.

• Optics leaving the night sky, he looks down at you. Asking to stay with him. Needing him. “Of course,” he says, servos pressing against his thigh to keep from reaching. From kneeling to touch your arm. Because he likes this feeling. Had been trained to protect others, but his team barely listens to him. Certainly don’t look to him for protection or guidance. Sari gravitates to Bee, but then they’re both young. And he needs to be needed. To have a purpose. Had tried so hard to take pride in his job on space bridge repair, to work hard, but knew it was a slight. A punishment for his failures.

• What is it about the huge bot that makes you feel safe? Is it only that he saved you or is it that low voice, those big, but so gentle hands? And he’s kneeling, offering you his hands. Asking. There’s no hesitation, crossing to him and sliding into his palms, grabbing onto his servos when he slowly stands and carries you back inside. Curling your legs against yourself, you try to ignore the curious looks from the other bots and humans. “Thank you,” you whisper. Feeling silly, like a child afraid of the dark.

• Glancing down at you in his hands, he smiles faintly. Don’t you understand you don’t need to thank him? That he’d have reached for you, tried to protect you over and over simply because you needed protecting. “We have some extra blankets and pillows Sari’s brought over,” he says, crouching to pull some from the cabinet Sari had shoved them in.

• Holding onto his servos, you glance toward that main open space where the others are. “Does she live here?” And if so, what happened to her family? For being so young, she seems totally at ease with the bots, unbothered by the fact that they’re so alien. One of the other people has been brought here to help them care for the kid, you remember. Had thought it was odd, but hadn’t wanted to pry in front of Sari in case it was a painful subject.

• “Sometimes. She comes and goes as she pleases, but she’s here most of the time,” he admits. Had gotten the impression that her sire was a bit absentminded. That he fixates on projects to the exclusion of everything else. Including his only child. Something that doesn’t sit right with him. Can’t understand it, because if he had sired sparklings, he’d want to be involved in their lives. To know them and teach them, but her sire doesn’t even seem to notice that she’s gone. And thinking of sparklings just leaves him oddly empty. There’ve been no new sparks in so long. Bee one of the last generation and no one’s been able to figure out why.

Previous

Next

[pipartuuli]

making this the official introductory post for all my future doodles and ramblings about the

Metalocalypse Vikings AU

I don't know how much effort I'll put into this, but musings below the cut! (And don't expect total historic accuracy - it's just for funsies, not a research project.)

All my future posts in this setting will be tagged with #MtlVikingsAU for ease of keeping tabs on them.

my co-conspirator, as always, is @aidoneira 💛

Setting:

Circa 840 c.e. near what will become modern day Göteborg, Sweden. The Viking Age is in full swing in Scandinavia. Seafaring Norsemen have begun to launch raids across Northern Europe and elsewhere.

Skwisgaar:

Skwisgaar is the Jarl (Chieftain) of a sprawling seaside town near modern-day Göteborg, having amassed a large army and in possession of an entire fleet of ships. An incredibly skilled swordsman rumored to be sired by a god, he is a formidable raider and has seen great success pillaging and plundering, folding smaller nearby villages into his own and going abroad for more exotic spoils. While charming, he has a cruel streak and a propensity for violence; success like his does not often come peacefully, and defending that which he and his forefathers built - what the gods have bestowed upon him - is his top priority. Lately, he's taken an interest in taming (or perhaps breaking completely) the wild spirit of his recent captive, Toki. For his thunderous nature and strength, he's earned the epithet "Þórshestr" - Thor's-Horse, or Thunder-Horse.

Toki:

Toki hails from a small village nestled deep in a fjord near what is today Stavanger, Norway. Trained as a strong warrior, he was the only survivor of a raid on his home by Skwisgaar’s army, having been barely subdued, captured, and brought back to Skwisgaar’s domain as a prize. While normally quiet and gentle, the fury with which he's able to fight as a Berserker is frightening. His skills with a blade (his preferred weapon being his seax) are second only to Skwisgaar’s. Some in the village whisper that he may even be more powerful than Jarl Skwisgaar himself... Toki finds companionship in the other captives pressed into Skwisgaar’s service. His speed and ferocity in battle have earned him the epithet "Snæfalk" - Snow-Falcon.

Runke:

Also a Norwegian captive brought to Skwisgaar’s village several years ago, Runke's jobs are many - he's able to carve and read runes, decipher omens, maintain a knowledge of various medicinal herbs and plants, and treat battlefield injuries. While some of these duties are typically seen as women's work - belonging to the class of the si��asveinn or völva - no one can deny his skill. For his wisdom (and beak-like profile), he's often called "Huginn" after Odin's own raven. He's made a begrudging sort of peace with his new lot in life and accepts his fate, even developing a soft spot for Toki who has become like a(n annoying) younger brother.

Týr:

A local of Skwisgaar’s village, Týr is a career soldier and Skwisgaar’s long-time guard and combat tutor - and the closest thing Skwisgaar has to an earthly father. In his younger years, Týr spent time going a-viking with his fellow warriors, but in recent times, he's been enjoying a slower state of semi-retirement, woodworking instead of sparring. He taught Skwisgaar everything he knows about wielding a blade. Despite his acuity with a sword, he is a kind and fair man, and has done his best to impart the same values to Skwisgaar (with limited success...) "Týr" is not his birth name, but a name he's earned after the god of war and justice himself. His birth name has been lost to time.

[despazito]

Dunno if you've already seen it but there's a youtuber (Izzzyzzz) who just uploaded a video about puppy mills and questionable dog breeding practices. I'm not as much in that scene as you are, but i thought she raised a bunch of really important points. What do you think?

I really like izzzyzzz but unfortunately it's really not a great lesson in the topic imo

Same with the ethanisonline video on the topic, they don't actually make the distinction of what an exotic bully even is and what sets them apart from adjacent breeds, and use photos of american bullies and exotic bullies interchangeably. They kind of treat the bully breed group, apbts, american bullies, and exotic bullies all synonymously. I'm fairly certain they never said the name "exotic bully" even once.

Like, this is one of the clips they showed while talking about the dangers of brachycephaly and extreme conformation... This dog's proportions are totally fine..? If you mean pimpy pull up pictures of pimpy, why's this random dude catching strays.

I'm not really sure why they also brought up XL bully attacks if the topic of the video is extreme breeding of exotic bullies, they are completely separate breeding projects (also talks about XL fatalities in the UK without any of the kimbo line context, it really deserves its own full length video to properly discuss). They talk about american bullies being potentially dangerous (any dog can be potentially dangerous) when again the breed was intended to be a more docile companion dog than its predecessors.

On top of that they basically wonder out loud whether venomline dogs are being used for fighting?? sweaty those dogs are NOT made for fighting.

They push the adopt don't shop angle which, granted, if you're in the market for a bully or a pit in the united states you can definitely shop around tons of rescues. But i wish instead of this they used the angle of just how many litters per year some of these kennels are churning out in comparison to more devoted breeders who really put their all into setting up every litter for success. A good breeder isn't contributing to the shelter population. And i wish instead of just using the moral argument that it's weird to advertise your stud like a product, maybe talk about the tangible harms of the popular sire effect and everyone wanting to use the same few studs in their lines.

Overall I don't think the video was researched enough. It broadly generalizes and uses different types of bullies completely interchangeably, and tries to cover way too many topics spanning many different lines of dogs in a 20 minute video. there's other things that stood out to me but i'm not confident enough to discuss, i'm sure @pitbolshevik could do a way more thorough autopsy on this video than me lol.

[l0stn3v3rf0und]

Yet another Kirby anime rewrite - Chapter Two Preview

Just wanted to note that I am working on Chapter Two right now and it's taking a bit to finish (Because I am also working on BATFL and I am not abandoning that project any time soon)

So, while you wait, here's a full scene from the chapter as an apology!

As the moon sets, the twinkling stars shining in the night sky start to fade and blend into the warm orange hues of a new day. A blinding light rose high into the sky, singling the lifeforms below to rise from their beds and greet the morning air around them. Chirping birds start to flow into the air, the sounds of doors opening with soft bells and “Good Mornings!” from the Cappies follow behind. Symbolizing the start of a new day. But, we aren’t focusing on the citizens below now, are we?

In the distance, a soft yellow Castle stood atop of a tall hill, looming over the town with its growing shadow casting over the landscape below. The bricks of this building were detailed with splashes of moss in every corner, and cannons poking out in between the walls of the castle, ready to be used for a possible, and honestly unimaginable, revolution from the citizens of Cappy Town. The inside of the castle itself was fairly large, and rather empty. But, every once in a while, the castle’s loyal servants, the Waddle Dees, would show up around the corner, carrying buckets, mops, brooms, and sometimes even Spears. They never said much, maybe a bit of “Wanyas” here and there, but nothing in full sentences that anyone could understand. Hence, it left the castle halls nice and silent for most of the day. A peaceful morning, just as it should be.

“That little pink son of a…”

Until now.

The booming voice of a totally-not-pissed-off King echoed through the castle corridors, filling the air of the once peaceful morning with the sounds of King Dedede’s complaints of this new pink visitor, which was quickly followed by muffled clinks and clanks from one of the castle’s bedrooms. The largest one in the whole corridor, to be more specific.

“That brat thinks he can just show up and…” King Dedede paused to lean his head back, letting out a bubbly gurgle roar out of his mouth and then quickly releasing a spit into the sink below. “...and ruin my plans? Well, I ain’t having it!” the King stormed out of his bathroom with a huff, his assistant, Escargoon, squirmed behind him. King Dedede swung the doors of his closet open, revealing a set of flashy clothes stored inside, each one a different colorful shade, hue, and pattern. Making the whole closet burst with a vibrant hue of colors like we never seen before. Despite the variety of the clothing, he snatched his favorite red robe and slipped it over his arms, “I’m kicking that stupid ball out of orbit faster than you can say ‘King!’” Dedede declared. Escargoon let out a cough to catch the King’s attention.

“Well, sire, I can reassure you that I, Dr. Escargoon, will provide you with a powerful weapon to-” The smug snail’s pride was whacked both metaphorically, and physically, by Dedede’s shoulder as he whipped himself around. “Your inventions aren’t reliable!” accused King Dedede as he stormed out of the room. “I’ll have to resort to my usual tactic!”

“Usual tactic-” Escargoon shook his head and dashed after him, “But, sire, wouldn’t that only cost more money?” he informed, “The last Demon Beast you bought cost half of our budget!”

“Don’t care!” fumed Dedede as he stormed closer to the throne room, “I need pest exterminated now!”

The King slid into the throne room, almost slipping on the recently cleaned bricked floors. As he regained his balance, he rushed over to his golden coated throne and leaped into the green cushions. With a push of a button on the throne’s armrest, a metal gate on one of the walls slipped into the unknown, revealing a large TV in which faced the King. The device flickered on in an instant, revealing a rather humanoid man with a blue suit on the screen. “Welcome to the Holy Nightmare Demon Beast Download site.” said the man, “Our company has assembled a set of strong, cruel demon beasts at your disposal. Just shout a request and we provide you the best! What can I get you, Mr. D-Man?”

“Cut to the chase, Sales guy!” King Dedede exploded, slamming a fist onto the armrest. “That Octopus you sent me last time was weak! It got burned by that stupid pink pest!”

“Now now, D-Man, let’s not get fussy.” The Sales Guy, as Dedede called him, assured the fuming Pengi in the seat below with his hands up. “You know we at Nightmare Enterprises only desire the best of the best for our customers!”

“But, this pink pest you mentioned,” he continued, resting a hand on his chin, “he does seem like a real nuisance to his majesty, doesn't he?”

“Yeah, no shit!” cursed Dedede, “Gimme the strongest Demon Beast to get rid of that nuisance, will ya?!”

As the room started to dim into darkness, the middle of the throne room opened up, revealing a large machine hidden underneath the floor. More mechanical devices began to appear in the room one after another, a large satellite dish, hooked onto the wall with wires and tubes, lowered down from the ceiling, slightly hovering over the glowing machine below. Dedede smirked, slamming his fist down onto the button on his armrest, singling a spark of electricity that zipped out of the satellite dish and onto the machine below. On the platform, a blue shocking glow sparked all over the room, growing stronger every second. From a distance, Escargoon locked his eyes with the blinding light, curling in on himself with grating teeth. King Dedede, however, was at the edge of his seat with excitement, gripping his armrests with a grin. With a final flash of light, the Demon Beast revealed itself. A small concrete block rested on the summoning platform, an empty silence drifted through the air as the two approached the block with a shared, confused expression etched on their faces.

“The hell is this?” Dedede sneered, leaning his body closer to the block. “It’s a very heavy Demon Beast, your majesty.” Sales Guy clarified from the TV screen, “We call it, ‘Blocky’.”

“Stop messing around!” boomed the king as he whirled to face the TV screen, “This puny brick can’t win against Kirby.”

“Well then, I’ll show you how it works.” From the screen, Sales Guy lifted what looked like a green colored device in his hand, and gently pressed a button on the lower left of the device. In an instant, the blue sparks returned and surrounded the brick, causing it to rapidly change in size. Dedede and Escargoon stepped back, watching the situation behold in front of them. The block, now taking up half of the summoning platform, started to sprout out hands and feet, a sharp glare etched on the beast’s face. Dedede and Escargoon froze, mouth’s agape on this Demon Beast before them. Blockly leapt into the air almost easily, like it was light as a feather. But, the moment its feet hit the ground, the floor below it collapsed, sending the beast to descend further and further into the ground effortlessly.

“Wh-What the?!” Escargoon stammered, peeking down into the hole the beast made. Snapping out of his frozen trance, Dedede boomed with laughter. “We’re sure to win with this! That puny ball wouldn’t stand a chance!” He rushed over to the hole and leaned down with his hands cupped around his mouth. “Go find that pink puffball, Blocky! And squish ‘em!”

[nerdydaydreamer]

Chapter 17: Of Dreams and Deliverance

MASTERLIST

Summary: Plucked from her mundane life and thrust into a glass prison alongside the captured King of Dreams, Nora becomes an unlikely confidante and defiant voice in his silent torment. As a century blurs into freedom, she discovers her own impossible existence is inextricably linked to Morpheus himself, compelling them to face future challenges and rebuild his shattered realm, together.

Previous Chapter

~London Calling~

Morpheus, with Nora and Lucienne beside him, began to walk down the long, skeletal dock that jutted out into the swirling expanse of inky blackness. They stopped about midway, silently gazing out at the Dreaming Waters, its depths echoing with whispers of forgotten fears and unresolved sorrows.

It was Lucienne who finally broke the heavy silence, her brow furrowing slightly. "Where are you off to, sire?"

Morpheus's mental voice, cutting through the stillness, resonated with quiet authority. "London."

"London?" Lucienne interjected, her brow furrowing slightly. "My Lord, did you not just spend the last century there?"

Nora shot Lucienne a sharp look. Excuse you, Lucienne, she thought, a silent warning.

"My apologies, Nora," Lucienne quickly amended, her gaze sweeping between the two of them. "My Lord, my apologies. But, if I may ask, why London?"

"My sand was sold there," Morpheus replied, his voice a low, steady current in their minds. "When I have it back, I will seek out my helm. In Hell."

Nora’s head snapped to him, her eyes wide. What did he just say? The silent question, a sharp jolt of surprise and concern, reverberated through their mental link.

Lucienne hesitated, then took a step closer, her hands clasped. "My Lord, if I may be so bold, grant me a favor. Take a raven with you."

"No more ravens," Morpheus stated, his voice flat.

"If not for you, then at least for me," Lucienne pleaded, her tone earnest. "The raven can go back and forth between realms, keeping me informed."

"No more ravens," Morpheus repeated, his gaze distant, staring out at the inky blackness of the Dreaming Waters. A profound sorrow, like a cold, heavy stone, emanated from him. "Jessamy was the last." He refocused on Lucienne, his expression hardening with a familiar, ancient resolve. "If this Constantine is anything like her ancestor, she will serve him well enough."

He then turned and walked towards the very end of the dock, reaching the precipice of the swirling blackness. He took a step forward, as if to depart. But then he paused, hearing footsteps approaching behind him and turned his head slightly, seeing Nora drawing closer, a determined set to her jaw.

It will be too dangerous, he began to project, the thought forming even as Nora cut him off, her voice a sharp, unyielding blade.

"Oh, no you don't, Sandy. Not a chance in hell. Pun totally not intended. Don't even start with 'too dangerous' or 'I must go alone,' because we've been over this, haven't we? I promised you, Morpheus. Whatever it takes. To rebuild this kingdom? To get your power back? To ease your pain? I said I'd do it. And I meant it. Every. Single. Word."

She stopped before him, her hands on her hips, her eyes blazing with a defiant fire. After a century trapped in a fishbowl with you, listening to your existential angst and my musings on capybaras in rainbow fur, she thought, a flash of her usual irreverent humor breaking through, do you honestly think I'm going to let you swan off into the 'dangerous' waking world by yourself?

Look, I don't care about the danger. I don't care what you say. You're stuck with me, Morpheus. Get used to it. Her mental voice softened slightly, a hint of genuine affection underpinning her sass. Besides, you need someone to make sure you don't accidentally scare a busker to death with your brooding face, or accidentally cause a traffic jam by simply existing too intensely. Her mental voice continued, Trust me, you need me.

Morpheus stared at her, a myriad of emotions flickering through his ancient eyes – surprise, a hint of exasperated amusement, and something deeper, a quiet, unwilling acceptance. After a long moment, a ghost of a sigh, a mere wisp of air, touched her mind. Very well, Nora, he conceded, his mental voice devoid of argument, a silent acknowledgment of her unwavering will.

He raised a pale hand, performing a small, swirling gesture like casting a spell. The black, still waters of the Dreaming Waters began to stir, parting before them with a soft, whispering sound, revealing a clear path forward. He then extended his hand to her. Nora’s eyes, against her will, were drawn to his elegant fingers. Asshole. Completely, utterly rude. The last thing I need right now is to be thinking about how pretty his hands are, she thought, a spark of frustrated irritation momentarily eclipsing the grim reality of their surroundings. He guided her off the decaying dock, down the ethereal steps that formed in the water, and onto the newly revealed riverbed, a shimmering, dark path that led them into London.

~

Morpheus and Nora appeared at the top of the steps to a large, somewhat imposing chapel, its weathered stone columns looming overhead like ancient sentinels. The night air was cool and damp, carrying the faint, metallic scent of rain that had recently fallen, leaving the ground slightly slick. Nora’s gaze swept across the scene, taking in the gothic arches and stained-glass windows, now dark, unseeing eyes in the dim London night, before her eyes landed on Johanna Constantine. Clad in her signature cream-colored trench coat, its fabric a stark contrast against the gloom, Johanna ascended the steps with an easy, confident stride, her brown hair, brushing just past her shoulders with a slight wave, swaying gently with each step.

As Johanna drew a few steps away from the top, Morpheus’s voice, resonant and ancient, a deep hum in the stillness, called out, “Constantine!”

Johanna paused, her head snapping up. Her sharp, intelligent eyes, the color of a stormy sea, found him, unwavering and direct. “We have business, you and I.”

Johanna tilted her head sideways, a hint of a playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. Well, well, what have we here? She thought, an inner chuckle. “Who’s asking?” She then took a couple more steps toward Nora, her gaze raking over her with an appraising, saucy glance. Nora’s mind went completely blank. She’d been stared at, scowled at, ignored, but flirted with? This was uncharted territory, a foreign language she didn’t speak. Her heart gave a surprised lurch against her ribs. “Is it you, love?” Johanna purred, a seductive undertone in her voice that was impossible to miss, a challenge laced with flirtation.

Morpheus took a single, decisive step forward, angling his tall, brooding form just enough that it effectively blocked Johanna’s view of Nora, an act of subtle yet undeniable protection. “You have something of mine,” he stated, his voice flat, devoid of emotion, yet carrying an unmistakable weight of command, like a stone dropped into still water.

Johanna’s smirk widened, clearly amused by his protective and defensive nature regarding Nora. Figures he’d be the jealous type, she mused, a flicker of amusement in her eyes. “Get in line, bruv,” she said with a hint of disdain, a casual insolence that seemed to roll off Morpheus like water off a duck’s back. Her eyes drifted back to Nora, doing a quick up-and-down sweep that lingered for a moment, a silent acknowledgment of Nora’s presence, before she sent a quick, knowing wink Nora’s way. With a purposeful step, she briskly walked around Morpheus, her trench coat swirling slightly, and disappeared into the chapel, presumably to begin her work.

Morpheus, his head following Johanna as she walked around them and into the chapel, turned to look at Nora, who was now standing directly behind him. He raised an eyebrow ever so slightly, a silent question in his ancient eyes. Nora felt a blush creep up her neck and flood her cheeks, a betraying heat that only intensified her shock. She desperately tried to hide it, her gaze darting anywhere but at him. Okay, calm down, Nora. It was just… a wink. A very intense, flirtatious wink. From a very hot, dangerous woman. Get it together! she frantically told herself. “Alright,” she mumbled, forcing a casual tone, her voice a little too bright. “Let’s go after her. Come on.”

By the time Morpheus and Nora made it inside the chapel, the air was thick with the acrid tang of ozone and sulfur, a palpable sense of struggle clinging to the shadowed arches. Johanna Constantine was already in the throes of an exorcism, her voice a sharp, unwavering incantation that sliced through the growing chaos as she wrestled with a towering demon. The flickering candlelight cast dancing shadows that seemed to writhe in sympathy with the infernal presence.

The demon stood fully present, much taller than Johanna, with thick red skin and a mane of dreadlock-like hair adorned with glinting golden rings. Short, sharp horns protruded from its head, and its hands ended in wicked claws. Its eyes, wide and glowing, found Morpheus. "Lord Morpheus!" it rasped, a sound of visceral recognition and dawning horror.

"Stop!" Morpheus commanded, his voice a deep, resonant chord that cut through the demonic snarls and Johanna's fervent chanting, momentarily stilling the oppressive atmosphere.

Johanna, mid-incantation, her body taut with exertion, paused. Her head snapped up, her sharp, intelligent eyes widening as she truly registered the ancient, cosmic presence of Dream before her. Her jaw tightened almost imperceptibly. "Oh, shit," she muttered under her breath, the two words heavy with the weight of unexpected reality. This wasn't some ordinary, opportunistic charlatan trying to poach her business.

"I almost didn't recognize you," the demon continued, its red skin rippling, regaining a sliver of its usual, sneering arrogance, "without your helm. Where is it?"

"I assume it is in Hell, with whom it was traded," Morpheus replied, his gaze unwavering, fixed on the demon.

The demon's form seemed to writhe more intensely, a desperate, wheedling plea entering its voice. "Stop her! Stop her from sending me back to Hell, and I will tell you where it is!"

Johanna merely scoffed, a dismissive sound, her focus unwavering on her task. Her hand, which had been raised, gripped the crucifix tightly. Even with Morpheus's commanding "Stop!" and the demon's frantic, piercing cry, "Dream of the Endless commands you to stop!", she remained utterly resolute. Her lips peeled back in a sneer that promised no quarter. "Fuck off and run along back to Hell," she snapped, her voice laced with an icy finality. With a powerful surge of contained energy, visible as a faint shimmer around her, she completed the exorcism. The demon shrieked, a sound of raw agony and furious despair, as it was violently ripped downwards through a swirling, fiery maw that abruptly opened in the chapel's ancient stone floor. Then, a profound, echoing quiet descended, swallowing the last vestiges of its torment, leaving only the scent of ozone and stale incense in the air.

Morpheus turned to Johanna, his eyes burning with an intense, cold light. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"

Johanna smoothed down the damp fabric of her trench coat, a smug, satisfied grin spreading slowly across her face, utterly unperturbed. "I just tripled my fee." She then turned and walked out of the chapel, a definite, almost jaunty hop in her step, a low, triumphant whistle nearly escaping her lips, radiating an almost palpable pride in her work.

Nora, breaking her silence for the first time since entering, let out a short, soft sigh. "Well, shit." She walked up to Morpheus, gently took his pale hand, her fingers a warm anchor, and tugged lightly. "Come on. Let's go outside."

As they emerged from the chapel, the cool London air, damp with the lingering threat of rain, was a welcome contrast to the chapel's oppressive interior. Johanna was already waiting for them, leaning casually against a weather-beaten stone pillar, one ankle crossed over the other. "What do you want?" she asked, her tone flat, impatient.

"A leather pouch filled with sand came into your possession," Morpheus stated, his voice direct, his gaze unwavering. "I require its return."

Johanna raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. "Oh, that was yours? I couldn't even get the drawstrings open, mate." Her words tripped with a casual insolence that might have frayed the nerves of anyone less ancient.

Morpheus's gaze hardened, his patience wearing thin. "You will help me get it back."

Nora cut in, rolling her eyes at Morpheus's lack of tact. "He meant to ask that nicely, with a 'please' on the end," she said, her voice dry, her expression clearly conveying her exasperation with his social graces.

Johanna's smirk softened almost imperceptibly as she looked at Nora, a flicker of genuine appreciation in her sharp eyes. A rare, almost imperceptible smile touched her lips. "Alright," she conceded, her tone surprisingly compliant, her gaze lingering on Nora for a beat before returning to Morpheus. "I'll help him get his sand." She pushed off the pillar. "But I'll do it in the morning."

"No," Morpheus countered immediately, his voice firm, leaving no room for argument.

Johanna, still facing them, her hands now tucked into her trench coat pockets, shrugged. "And I work alone. I don't need you or your friends looking after me."

Morpheus's brow furrowed slightly in confusion by her plural term. He glanced to Nora, who was standing steadfastly beside him, then back to Johanna, seeking clarification. "Is that not your raven?" Johanna asked, her gaze drifting deliberately towards where a raven was perched a few feet away on a low, crumbling wall, its black feathers sleek, hopping nervously from foot to foot.

Morpheus's attention was now entirely on the bird, Johanna completely forgotten. His normally impassive face showed a flicker of something unreadable – surprise, perhaps even a hint of wonder. He took a slow, deliberate step towards the raven, then knelt down, his dark coat fanning out slightly. "What is your name?" he asked, his voice neutral, carefully devoid of any overt emotion, yet holding an undeniable, ancient weight.

The raven ruffled its feathers nervously, its small head cocking. "Matthew," it responded, a little shyly, a surprisingly human quality to its voice.

Nora, her eyes wide with surprise and a sudden warmth, took a step in Matthew's direction, a soft, genuine smile touching her lips. The sight of the little bird, so out of place yet so clearly connected to Morpheus, brought a lightness to the grim situation.

Morpheus slowly stood, his tall form casting a shadow over Matthew. "Go back to The Dreaming," he commanded, his voice firm, echoing with his newly regained authority. "I do not need a minder."

"A-Actually Boss, you do need my help!" Matthew insisted, a flash of urgency in his small, dark eyes as he looked past Morpheus, then frantically flapped a wing in a vague gesture. "She's getting away!"

Indeed, Johanna, having taken full advantage of their profound distraction, had already turned and walked off hurriedly, her trench coat disappearing around the corner of the chapel with remarkable speed. Matthew slumped slightly on the wall, looking down at the ground with an air of long-suffering exasperation. "See?" he muttered, a hint of genuine frustration in his voice, his feathers deflating slightly. "This is why you need a raven."

Morpheus turned to Nora, a silent question in his eyes as to why she hadn't given him warning. Nora merely offered a sheepish grin, a faint blush dusting her cheeks, and held up her hands in a gesture of surrender. Oops. I was also distracted by the pretty bird, she thought, the admission a quiet, amused wave through their mental link.

Next Chapter

-

Thank you so much for reading! As always, comments and feedback are appreciated! 🩷

[ssasides205]

Fic Project 3

alright, I know ppl engage with abo even less than they do normal content, but I promise you I'm very ace abt it. anyways...

The adoption au:

-abo bc I need the scent thing to be a thing for plot reasons

-aged up characters (late 20s)

-Leo gets kidnapped, and adopts two kids

-Shiro is like 6? Maybe less, Keith is like 3 or 4.

-Leo and Keith click instantly, bc Leo’s quintessence is similar to that of the Red Lion (this will come up later)

-Shiro takes a bit longer to warm up to him, but he does trust Leo from the moment they get out

-Leo and Nico have a weird sort of situationship, in that Leo was basically abandoned by his previous partner, and Nico understands and is willing to wait but wants to court him and sometimes that slips into their interactions.

-Nico’s incredible with the kids, Piper lives to tease Leo about it

-nobody questions Takashi being adopted, Keith however gets mistaken for Nico’s actual son so often that he believes it to be true for a while

-Nico totally teaches the kids Italian, Leo has mixed feelings about Spanish so he only passes down some words and translated expressions. He does, however, teach the boys Morse code.

-It’s actually Annabeth that figures out their roots, and helps Leo find out about their respective families. She also finds people to teach them Japanese/Korean, as well as Ancient Greek.

-the others all get involved in the rearing of the broganes, it really does take a village

-galra Keith exists fully, as in he can shapeshift and has been holding it unknowingly, but one of the apollo campers figures it out and poof, tinny fluffy purple baby

-Shiro is a demigod, actually, but I have not decided whom sired him just yet

-Leo totally makes Keith a galra-proof hippo stuffy, and then a demi-safe cat stuffy for Shiro

-the broganes are partly responsible for getting Leo out of his own head, and getting Valdangelo together

-Shiro and Keith both get offered to choose their legal names, even offered the option of having two. Keith opts for having two, so he’s Akira Kogane, but also Keith Di Angelo-Valdez

-mostly, this is just Keith and Shiro both getting to have a huge family that could kick your ass

-I love the Leo ends up working for NASA thing, so he becomes a very well-known aerospace engineer, when Keith meets the rest of the Voltron crew Pidge and Hunk know of Leo so they immediately note his surname

-Keith, to Red: you know, you feel kinda like my pops | Red, who’s been inside Keith’s head: *purrs loudly*

-Lance, at some point: How come Shiro didn’t get a second name? | Keith: he’s butthurt that everyone knows he’s adopted | Shiro: we can’t all look like our adoptive fathers Akira!

-Keith slips into Italian when he’s sleepy/drunk, Korean when he’s annoyed and wants to curse without getting in trouble, and Ancient Greek when he’s legitimately angry.

-Shiro uses Japanese the most when tired, Italian when angry, and exclusively speaks in Ancient Greek when he’s drunk.

-Hunk, someone who studied modern Greek: what dialect is that? | Keith, Leo’s son: Underworld drawl

-Pidge, a Leo fan: hey Keith did you get any language from your cooler dad | Keith:  .--- ..- ... - / - .... .. ... / --- -. . | Pidge: wicked

-there’s a real scary moment after they fight big baddie 1 (can’t remember) where Keith realizes the enemy looks just like him, this would lead to much angst as he decides to hide this from the team, - Shiro (he already knew)

-when the truth finally comes out Shiro is ready to throw hands, Lance calls Allura’s bullshit so fast he gives everyone else whiplash, and Pidge and Hunk prepare a list of questions. Coran tries to play mediator as best as he can, the poor man.

-yes abyss whale, no second time-skip, yes road trip back to earth, yes armor changes, maybe black paladin lance, definitely Klance

-Keith, to Krolia: are you sure you didn’t have other children | Krolia, who watched Keith’s childhood through whale shenanigans: I admit it’s a very striking resemblance.

-Shiro: it’s a little funny how similar Lance is to Leo | Keith: you shut your mouth

-when they get to earth there’s an awkward moment where Leo has to call the Alteans aside and explain the mist to them so they don’t look crazy for saying what they’ll see

-Pidge, after meeting the brogane’s parents: I’m seeing double | Keith: yeah, dad and I are pretty close looking | Pidge: and you have the exact same taste in men | Keith, turning purple: they’re not the same!

-Lance: honestly, I don’t see it, Mr Di Angelo is a refined goth, meanwhile Keith’s out here with a mullet | Keith: my hair just grows like this! | Leo, appearing: Can confirm, we tried giving him a haircut once and it just returned, pretty sure it’s the alien in him

-Allura, to Leo: remarkable, your quintessence is near identical to that of the red lion | Leo, after checking there’s no mortals around: probably the fire thing |Allura, intrigued: the fire thing? | Leo, after doublechecking: *lights hand on fire* | Allura: ✪ᗨ✪

-Krolia, who’s seen what Leo’s capable of and is understandably intimidated: Thank you for taking care of my son when I couldn’t | Leo, who’s now not all convinced his husband isn’t an alien: we’re talking about Keith, right?

[primreaperstuff]

My Gravity Falls Warframe Headcanons

Thinking more about my other post where I drew comparisons between Wally and Bill, I decided to come up with how the cast of Gravity Falls would play the game Warframe! (It's a free-to-play-but-not-fee-to-pay looter shooter for PC and consoles. You kill everything and understand the concept of love lol). Spoilers for the Second Dream, the Sacrifice-- pretty much everything lol.

In this world, "H16h V0l7463" (actually a team of people headed by Amir Beckett) is the developer of Warframe, which is absolutely not based off of an alternate timeline where the cloning project that resulted in several boy bands, including Sev'ral Timez, accidentally produced eldritch horrors. That would be Totally Weird™️!

Soos's screen name is ShackFan2000 (mastery rank 30, legendary rank 5). He's been playing the game since it was in closed beta, and currently maintains a cross-save on the PC and Switch (his screen name on Switch used to be ShackFan2000butigotaswitchdude). He remembers when the game had raids and a dash meter, when pets could die, and can recount the Great Octavia Grind like it was yesterday. He mains Oberon Prime, who he is convinced will rise again someday, but also loves playing as Loki Prime and Volt Prime. His fashion-frame skills aren't great-- he tends to overdo it with colors and attachments. He likes going into relays and randomly gifting newbies boosters and Orokin Reactors/Catalysts. He will also sometimes find players grinding for a specific frame and buy it for them. He runs the clan "RAD DAWG CENTRAL" which also includes Melody, Wendy, Ford, Dipper, and Mabel.

In recent years, Soos got his wife Melody into the game too, so they regularly play it together on audio chat. Her screen name is MeatCuteBentoPanda, she has a mastery rank of 3, and she mains Mag. She's asked him not to buy her frames, since she wants to earn them herself, but did reluctantly accept a gift of Equinox from him. She doesn't usually change her frames' appearance.

Soos tried to get Stan into the game when it went public, but Stan (screen name "KingNJ1967") doesn't really get it. He can loot and even shoot things in real life, and it's not really that fun, so why put it in a game? He never got past the tutorial mission on his own account and has a mastery rank of 1. But Stan does watch Soos play and sometimes designs Soos's Warframes-- you can tell a Stanframe apart from a Soosframe by its extensive use of golds and reds, insistence on using the Kiteer ephemera, as well as a better grasp of color theory overall. He also adores the Drifter, shouting some variant of "He's basically me! In a way!" whenever the Drifter shows up. Absolutely did not ever get into a Gravity Falls weirdness situation where he met the Drifter in Duviri and played Komi with them while chatting about family and sacrifices with them, no siree. ;)

Soos had better luck with Ford (screen name: "6Shooter"), although it took several years and an overhauled gameplay system for Ford to really get into it. His mastery rank is 16. He mains Revenant Prime and enjoys min-maxing everything, keeping up to date with all the latest meta builds and weapons and blathering about his stats to anybody who will listen. His secret shames are that his actual favorite frame is Limbo and he loves to use the Stug. He recalls a couple of dimensions that reminded him of the game's universe, and even one where everybody had a Narmer veil on (he didn't even realize it was sinister since all the anti-Bill stuff he was packing at the time made him basically immune to the veils' effects-- he nicknamed it the Tacky Headpiece Dimension and was promptly driven out by that dimension's Ballas for that). He colors all his frames either black or white. He vehemently hates the Perrin Sequence, as its logo is a triangle and he interpreted that as Bill worship. If you enter with a yellow sigil from the Perrin Sequence, he will find you and make you endure Host Navigation. He also thinks Loid is cute.

Wendy (screen name: "maglet00816") is a casual player. Her mastery rank is 10. Although she called herself a Maglet, she can usually be found fishing or mining as Ivara. She's not in a rush to finish the story, and likes chilling in blue/purple Fortuna too much to start the New War questline.

Mabel (screen name: "GLITTERPIG618!!!") got into the game independently of Soos several years after the events of the show, and she got Dipper into it too. Her mastery rank is 18. She mains Garuda, but also loves to rotate between Valkyr, Khora, and Voruna. She was despondent for a few days when she accidentally killed her Kubrow Waddles and now only runs with Sentinels (even though the whole affection/health mechanic thing has since been patched out). She gives Soos a run for his money in terms of garish Warframes with way too many attachments, and poses them frequently. She loved that dating sim thing with the Hex and has seduced all of them. She has a crush on Aoi Morohoshi and Albrecht Entrati, and writes fluff shipping Ordis with Cy as well as unhinged toxic yaoi between Nef Anyo and Parvos Granum.

Dipper (screen name: "number1mysterysolver") started playing some time after Mabel got into the game. He primarily plays on Xbox, but maintains a cross-save on PC too. His mastery rank is 15. He mains Excalibur, but has grown to appreciate Citrine, Volt, and Xaku. Sometimes goes on Solo missions on Pluto as Gauss just to bonk into All of the Walls. Vehemently denies finding Citrine, Yareli, and Wisp cute. He currently maintains a conspiracy board on Warframe lore and writes about his theories and speculations for the game. He claims not to care about appearances but his Warframes are always decked out in nice-looking, professional gear. He is online friends with Pacifica and plays with her and Mabel a lot, but neither Pacifica nor Dipper realizes that the other plays the game nor will they confess it to each other. Mabel has figured it out and wants to see how long it'll take for the shoe to drop for these two. He has a Kuva Lich working on his Railjack named Bopp Bipp.

Pacifica (screen name: "sodwlqxpsdc-caeser") has been playing since the game was made available to the public. Her mastery rank is 29. She hid her enjoyment of the game from her parents and the public for years. Now if her parents ask, she's only in it for the fashion frames and opportunity to flex her expensive gear on broke Tenno. In reality, though her Warframes are always well-designed, she loves the story for its themes of redemption and love conquering the odds. She used to main Loki, but nowadays prefers Gara and Cyte-09. Her knowledge of the meta rivals Ford's. She is one of the few players to regularly go into the Conclave.

Old Man McGucket found out about the game and had to be stopped before he made a functional replica of Chroma Prime out of scrap metal for a State of the Union speech. Once randomly mentioned that Dominus Thrax still owes him money and walked away, never elaborating and having forgotten that he said it shortly after.

Robbie (screen name: "bloodSKULLviolence") used to play Warframe occasionally. Then he got the Hex missions started and his father Greg Valentino laughed, cheerfully revealing that he offered to produce music for On-lyne a long time ago but was turned down, and saying that the game is proof that they missed out on so much fun by not picking him for a music producer (He wonders if he'd have been more successful if he'd called himself "Gregory V" rather than "Greggy V"). Robbie put down the controller, turned off his Playstation, and never played Warframe again. He got to mastery rank 13 before he quit and used to main Ash.

[jasina85]

Hello!!!! So I'm terribly curious about Oliwia!!! If you don't mind <3

What is up with the totally-ethical blood enrichment machine???? How did it come to her sire needing/wanting her to be the brain of it? How did that shape her view of kindred?

Hello!

To tell you the truth, the whole "being the brain" part is actually more of an educated guess on Oliwia's part, after going through her sire's journals and research notes afterwards. He never actually expressed this desire to her.

As for the machine itself, it's quite the concept. See, Darius (he went by many names, but this is the one Oliwia knew him by) was Embraced some time before the French Revolution and much like Oliwia, he was a doctor, a man of science, and he was unsatisfied with the current state of kindred (or I should say canite) feeding practices. He saw drinking from humans as messy and wanted a different solution, so over the years he started experimenting with blood filtration methods to enrich it.

Unfortunately the path to hell is paved with good intentions, and completing the machine quickly became his obsession, his Magnum opus! Surely sacrifices had to be made in the name of progress. Fleshcrafting contraptions are rarely clean or ethical, but he was adamant that the sacrifices (his Humanity slowly being sacrificed on the altar of this project included) were well worth it and that he'd have time to address that after it was complete.

The French Revolution was the first time he came close to completing the Machine. He just needed a few more "parts" and with everyone running around killing and dying, surely no one would notice a few Anarchs going missing? And it just so happened he struck at the coterie of one Ekaterina Allard (who wasn't present with them at the time and would live to sire Oliwia's wife - Harmony). Ekaterina, understandably enraged by having her friends and a budding lover taken away turned into spare parts for a horror set piece, levelled Darius's manor using Path of the Levinbolt (liiiiightning bolt! Liiiiightning bolt!), but Darius himself survived the ordeal, vowed to remember this indignity and had to start over from scratch.

Fast forward a few centuries and Darius is in correspondence with the Prince of Philadelphia, both concerned about how the COVID pandemic was affecting the quality of mortal blood. He is covertly invited to Philly where he can work on the new and improved version of his machine... and it just so happens Philly's where his wayward, rebellious Childe (a rebellion he of course sanctioned, not that she knew that) is "hiding" (quotation marks because he's had one of his ghouls watching over her ever since he gave her to a Sabbat pack).

It all comes to a head, Oliwia, with help from Harmony kills him, and what was left of the second iteration of the Machine gets dismantled (the shovelheads he created for it extracted and put on ice by the Prince and later given to Oliwia to raise them as his personal shock troops. Spoiler alert, that didn't go how he wanted it to), and Oliwia took custody of most of her sire's possessions. She went through his writings and got the impression, correct or not, that he intended something different for her than "someone to be his research companion".

As for how this affected her view of kindred in general? She wouldn't like to admit it out loud, but it planted a deep rooted fear of Elders, especially of her own clan, in her. Because if this is where the supposedly best intentions can lead someone? That's not a thought she likes to entertain. She still has nightmares about her sire... and in some of them, she's standing in his place. She might have grown comfortable with being a Tzimisce and everything that comes with it, but she'll never be comfortable with that particular nightmare haunting her dreams.

[susiephone]

i just read "a good girl's guide to murder" (planning to watch the show soon!) and i really liked it but it is SO funny that the narrative tries to be like "oh pip was a good girl, total rule follower before the plot happened" when literally the first 2 things that happen on-page are

pip pinky promises that she won't contact either of the families involved in this murder case she's looking into, crosses her heart, knows that if she contacts either the victim or the alleged murderer's families, she'll fail her project, and she super duper swears she won't do that, no siree

she immediately on day one of her investigation goes to talk to the alleged murderer's brother

and then she commits MULTIPLE crimes during her investigation. she impersonates a professional journalist, commits breaking and entering, blackmails a drug dealer, pretends to delete the blackmail material, and then reveals to her partner she has it backed up in case she needs it again. like i loved pip as a character but....is the good girl in the room with us right now?

[crownedinmarigolds]

For the lovely married besties noa and nyth game 4, 9, 17, 20, 28!

Ahh for the baby gorl and boi! <3 Thank you! As @thesixthplaneteer is Nyth's creator, he will also be answering here!

4. What generation are they? - Noa is 9th generation! - Nyth is a thinblood by blood quirk or possible experimentation by his sire. He unfortunately never got an answer for that. So if he came out how he was supposed to, he would be 11th gen. 9. Do they have a Childer? - Noa has no Childe of her own and doesn't exactly plan to. She loves to take in strays, as the family may say behind her back, and nurture them as her own but she isn't really interested in motherhood or siring at this time. - He does not. He wanted one at one point but has come to realize he would be a bad Vampy Daddy. He would totally project his issues and insecurities onto a childe. 17. What are their thoughts on the Camarilla? - Noa's first meet with the Camarilla in Las Vegas told her that they were structurally weak and constantly building on a sinking foundation - they're just lucky enough to be fast enough at building to remain afloat. While a lot of their rules feel like good enough common sense, there's a lot of bloat and bureaucracy that slow things down. Their treatment of outside the Camarilla clans also annoy her - especially after they decided to mark her best friend Nyth. It does amuse her that her clan has a treaty with a Camarilla, a testament to the power of her family. - He thinks the Camarilla are doing things pretty close to right. A structure to support kindred as a whole and an organized effort. For all its faults it at least has the power to do the things it claims to do and with the SI running amuck kindred need a rigid structure to survive. In his opinion at least. 20. What are their thoughts on the Anarchs? - The Anarchs annoy her in a different way than the Camarilla. The Camarilla attempt a structure and have twisted it to try and benefit a thousand different nobodies. The Anarch are thousands of nobodies trying to reject a structure they inevitably rebuild for themselves time and time again. The Reno Anarchs were always arguing, couldn't work things out, and constantly mistreated both her and her beloved Nyth for truly nothing other than the clans they were Embraced into. At least the Camarilla have some dignity when dealing with the Giovanni, but the Anarchs were ready to riot without even knowing her name. - He views Anarchs as deluded. The cries of freedom while they are at the whims of the baron and other kindred since there is no established structure or protections. It's like a group of people screaming to tear down the establishment but not offering anything to actually replace it or make it better. 28. Where do they live now as a kindred? - Nyth and Noa live happily as a "for tax reasons" married couple with their found family coterie in New Orleans, LA as they help out the family with the local Samedi and attempting to smooth some things over. They do a lot of work for the Giovanni part of the newly formed Hecata clan and travel often together! - His home is in New Orleans, in a modest mansion with his Beastie/Wife for Tax Reasons Noa and their little found family of a coterie. He keeps himself busy by handling his own version of the circulatory system for the family.

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E8 "The Roast" thoughts:

Ok, I watched this episode three times and I'm still smiling. I love when you think and episode is gonna be about something because of its title and then surprise you when its all a misdirection (see also: Succession's "Connor's Wedding").

At first Laszlo's err… state intrigued me, love everyone projecting and imposing their own insecurities (Guillermo's secret, Nadja's hex) as a reason on why he is behaving like that. And of course it's a stupid reason 😭.

"And a flat pepsi for Guillermo". Oh Nandor, that's the worst thing you ever done to Guillermo, that's the worst thing you could do to anyone. And yes, I remember a certain S4 episode.

I screeched like a bird when Colin mentioned dreaming about being a baby under Laszlo's care, not only because I wanted this shit to happen since the past finale, but also I really thought the episode was going on that direction (and also bc its another W for my predictions).

Having said that, LOVED the nonchalance of Nadja and the others when they were like 'no, it wasn't a dream, that totally happened'.

I mentioned it in a separate post: they really had a Sweet Dee in IASIP moment when The Guide gave the roast idea, only to be ignored and then the same idea being stolen by a dude who is celebrated.

Seanie's poor brain it should be soup at this point, we don't know if he can hazily remember the event like it happened before.

What can I remember is his line after Nadja's roast because it was one of the biggest laughs for me: "Women CAN be funny!" I fucking loved it so much, it's the perfect condescending shit straight men say all the time, even when they're trying to be complementary to you they can't stop being garbage. It was a simple line but Anthony nailed the delivery and timing. Seriously, rewatch that part.

At first I was confused why all the jokes were so mid, but shortly I realized this episode wasn't about the roast at all, lol.

Just by watching screenshots of other users I noticed that in the scene of Nandor resting his head on Guillermo's shoulder there's a BIG flame between them. LMAO. There's no way that is unintentional.

Good for The Guide being the catalyst of Baron Afanas learning the truth. I was demanding more screen time for her lately, so having some incidence in the main plot goes on the plus column.

The other guests present at the roast being shocked at the knowledge of Guillermo killing vampires surprised me; I always assumed Guillermo being a familiar/slayer was a known fact in the vampire community after his very public massacre at the Théâtre des Vampires.

Fuck yeah when I realized this is a Doug Jones spotlight episode, I just fuckin ahgdjkaksdf, love him, perfect, no notes.

The Baron being terrifying!! Guillermo was seriously scared for the others and he barely tried to show off his Van Helsing abilities.

Nandor and Nadja begging the Baron to not hurt Guillermo!! 😭 Them being dragged while grabbing the cape!! 😭 They're spiritual siblings to me!! 😭😭

They really reminded me a little bro and sis begging their mom to not hit their beloved older brother with the chancla for talking back or something.

I fell for the two fake-outs with the sack lol I'm so gullible when it comes to vampires I guess.

NANDOR PAINFUL SOUNDS (MOANS???) WHEN HE BELIEVED HE WAS IN FRONT OF GUILLERMO'S INERT BODY. IT WAS SAD BUT ALSO A LITTLE HORNY!!!

"At least he died doing what he loved: beating off in the toolshed."

A wonderful small detail: After Laszlo opened fake Guillermo with the knife he cleaned his hands on The Guide's dress.

Idc if you think its dark, the whole 'Nandor will kill you and then kill himself' bit becoming a recurring joke it's peak writing.

I wish I can say something more serious about Baron Afanas' sadness over how boring his life is now. But I just keep thinking that the way he talks about his homelife with The Sire and the Hellhound sounds exactly when a dude has a middle life crisis and suddenly he doesn't enjoy his marriage anymore. They're husbands!! And I loved how cunty he looked at the end all half-charred (see posted gif) Queen!

Now, the Nandermo of it all: What more can I say than incoherent screaming and foaming from the mouth? Episodes 8 are all about them again!! Nandor on the window looking all cliched melancholic heroine of a romance novel?? How relieved he was when he found him in the coffin??? Him still remembering Guillermo's card word for word???!! Knowing that this toxic dark sided devotion goes both ways???!!! Borrowing the words of Fleabag: THIS IS A LOVE STORY.

Seriously, I know all these soft Nandor moments are here so the heartbreak when he learns about Guillermo being turned it's even bigger. But still denying that there is a romantic undertone between these two it's just being purposely adamant at this point (i'm looking at you wwdits reddit). Even if nothing explicitly romantic happens on screen, just by watching these moments, I know, we know.

Now, go listen to the ending song again. You will not regret it.